For many couples, the first few weeks of trying to have a baby can initially seem like the ultimate step in sexual freedom. Sex, anytime, anywhere, without worrying about birth control. But if you don’t immediately conceive, you may wonder whether you should shift your approach to sex. You may have heard somewhere that having sex or masturbating every day may decrease your partner’s chances of getting pregnant.
So, should you have sex every day when trying to conceive? And when should you have sex? Here is what to know about how much the frequency of sex — and yes, masturbation counts — when you’re trying to get pregnant.
What to know about how sex affects sperm
Sex = pregnancy. The biology basics you learned in that uncomfortable fourth-grade “facts of life” class. But the specifics aren’t as simple. Here’s a quick refresher: Sperm are the male reproductive cells carried within semen, which is the protective fluid around the sperm. Sperm are developed within the seminiferous tubules of the testes and then, upon maturation (about 90 days), pass into the epididymis, the structure that connects the testes to the vas deferens.
When you ejaculate, sperm is ejected from the epididymis into the vas deferens and urethra, coated in fluids that make up semen. Semen shoots out of the urethra. When you’re trying to get pregnant, it will shoot into your partner’s vagina and uterus to reach the egg nestled deep within the partner’s Fallopian tube.
Since millions of sperm are typically ejaculated, conception should be simple, right? But it’s not. That’s because sperm then need to pass a lot of barriers within the partner’s body to make it to the egg, including an acidic pH within the vagina, as well as the physical barriers of the uterus and Fallopian tubes.
Only about 5,000 sperm will even get close to the Fallopian tube, and of those 5,000 swimmers, only about 1,000 will make it inside. So while all it takes is one sperm to make it to the egg, the odds are long for any getting that far.
Of all infertility cases, 40 to 50% are due to “male factor” infertility. The good news: There are many ways to manage male factor infertility and successfully conceive.
Does having sex everyday decrease sperm count?
Since ejaculation releases so much sperm, what does that mean if you ejaculate regularly? In the past, doctors theorized that frequent ejaculation might lower sperm counts and quality to the point it may affect fertility.
But more recent research has found that’s not the case. Some research suggests that frequent ejaculation may maximize the motility of your sperm.
Motility is how quickly sperm can move through the female reproductive tract. The more sperm that successfully can move forward through the female reproductive tract and toward the egg, the better.
Does daily sex increase fertility?
As you and your partner begin trying to conceive, it can be helpful to track ovulation together. This can help both of you clue into the best window for conception.
Going back to biology: For women, ovulation occurs when an egg is released from the ovary and travels into the fallopian tube. The window when the egg can be fertilized is when the egg is in the fallopian tube, which is only about 12-24 hours. Then, the egg will travel down into the uterus. If the egg is fertilized and implants, an embryo will begin forming. If the egg isn’t fertilized, the egg will be shed with the uterine lining, and menstruation will occur.
A 12 to 24-hour window doesn’t sound like a lot, right? But the good thing is: Sperm can survive in the fallopian tubes for around five days under the right conditions. And the best time for an egg to get fertilized is when there is already live sperm waiting in the fallopian tubes.
Are you more likely to get pregnant if you have more sex?
This is a tricky question, and a lot comes down to timing. When a woman has ovulated, the sperm may have already missed the boat. That’s why it can be helpful to have intercourse in the days leading up to ovulation.
Tracking can be emotional; you both must be on the same page. Some women use apps and over-the-counter ovulation test kits; others take their daily body temperature. But if pregnancy hasn’t occurred while you’re both trying, paying attention to ovulation, and shifting your sex life accordingly, can be helpful.
Sex should also be fun. Sometimes, trying to conceive takes the fun and spontaneity out of sex. It can be helpful to have sex every other day to more than once a day around the time of ovulation. If you enjoy having sex more frequently, that will not hurt your chances of conceiving.
If you and your partner have been trying and having difficulty conceiving — defined as a year of trying for those under 35 and 6 months for those over 35 — it may be a good idea to see a fertility specialist. A specialist can give evaluate you and your partner and address any issues. For example, low sperm concentration and motility are common issues for men. Some men may not have sperm in their ejaculate, a condition known as azoospermia.
A semen analysis can help diagnose male factor infertility.
Does abstaining from ejaculation harm my sperm count?
Yes and no. Some studies have found that men who ejaculated every day had higher-quality sperm than those abstinent for a week. But a brief dry spell likely won’t make or break any chances of conception if there are no underlying issues.
Some common behaviors outside the bedroom could affect sperm count. The use of tobacco products, alcohol, and drugs can affect sperm count.
How can I boost my sperm count?
The best way to have a good amount of high-quality swimmers is to make some basic lifestyle changes. Limiting processed foods, cutting out alcohol, eating healthy, and minimizing stress are all ways to make your swimmers happy.
If you’re trying to conceive, it can also be a good idea to talk with your doc. They can review any medications you’re taking (some may affect sperm) and do an overall health workup. In general, the healthier you are, the healthier your swimmers will be, too.
You also want to give your sperm some chill-out time — literally. Hot environments can hamper sperm production. Boxers instead of briefs, minimizing hot tub time, and keeping your laptop off your lap are all super easy switches to ensure your sperm are as healthy as possible.
The optimal amount of sex you should have to become pregnant
There’s no “optimal” amount of sex you should have to become pregnant. Some research suggests stress and anxiety may affect fertility — for both men and women. For many couples, it’s finding a balance between having sex for fun and tracking fertility, so you’re having sex in the days leading up to and including ovulation.
How much do you have to ejaculate to achieve pregnancy?
How much you ejaculate isn’t as important as the concentration and quality of your sperm. While a semen analysis is used to diagnose male infertility, ejaculation issues can cause fertility problems.
If you do have ejaculation issues, then it’s a good idea to see a urologist. Some treatments, such as medications, can help with any ejaculation issues that may get in the way of conception.
How long should you keep sperm inside the vagina to get pregnant?
Once sperm is in the vagina, it’s not going anywhere. Sure, some ejaculate may leak, but the fastest-moving sperm are well on their way toward the fallopian tubes by the time you’ve ejaculated.
Some studies focused on intrauterine insemination (IUI) have found that a woman lying still for fifteen minutes post-insemination had a higher success rate than a woman who immediately got up. But other studies have debunked that theory. And remember that these studies focus on a type of medical procedure, not simply intercourse.
There’s nothing wrong with staying in bed a little longer if you both want. But if she gets up immediately, trust that the sperm is still doing its job.
Bottom line: If you’re trying to conceive, living a healthy lifestyle will give your swimmers a leg up. And if you have problems conceiving, it may make sense to get a semen analysis. It’s a simple, non-invasive test that can shed light on a specific issue and provide targeted treatment options.
